dropped

i m dropped to the center of the earth.. when i received the news that my beloved grandma is confirmed wit lung cancer... i couldnt stop crying...

she's been sick for a few weeks.. complaint that she couldnt stop coughing... and alwiz felt breathless. took her to the doctor several times.. it recovers n comes bac again and again... till ytd. mummy told me that she can no longer remember wad she'd done in jz a second. and mummy even found out that she shit on her undies. in my head, i was afraid to face her. i dont dare to pay her a visit.. i tot that she's getting a Alzheimer... it was already the worst for me ..

uncle brought her to the hospital for a full body scan in the morning. when mum call him, he say that he'll call mum bac later in the evening. we suspect sth must have gone realli realli wrong... i started crying.. i couldnt take it... im scared... im realli scared to receive anything bad happening on her... i couldnt stop my tears...

till uncle called. i heard mummy mention bout chemo...my tears flow even faster. den it follow up wit sob. i cried out loud... my heart ache like hell... it felt even worst den anything else..
i couldnt stop thinking of the time she use to take care of me when i was young. she's the one who brought me up.. when mummy's working.. the afternoon nap we use to slp together... the dishes she cooked... the time when she woke me up every morning to sch...
i realli cant stand the pain of loosing her...
i dun wanna loose her...
the pain within is un-express-able..
i cant realli tell how is it..
my tears are flowing.